When I first woke up from surgery, the room was dark and empty, except for a tiny little woman in a white sweater checking tubes and dials on the IV stand next to me. She gave me a blank look, uttered something totally unintelligible, and walked out the door. I screamed, "What??" and passed out.
Next thing I remember, the surgeon, one Dr. Irving Grabscheit, is standing beside my bed. A pale, fat nurse dressed in what had to be size XXXL Sponge-Bob scrubs stood beside him, looking slightly bored. The doctor is leaning over and peering intently at me, tapping me on the arm
"Hello? Hello? Can you heah me? Sally, can you heah me??? You just came out of SURgery, Sally. We thought we were just going to remove your apPENdix, but NO, it turned out it was a TUmah. In your inTEStines. NOT benign! Size of a GRAPEFRUIT."
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